Is Managing the Family Finances Alone Putting Your Partner at Risk?

 “I don’t deal with the finances; my partner handles everything.” This is something we’ve heard countless times. 

However, if you’re the one reading this, it’s likely not your situation. You’re probably the one managing the family finances – whether or not you’re the primary earner. It turns out that this dynamic is quite common, as we recently confirmed through a poll on social media. 

For couples who live together, more than half have one person in charge of the finances. This proportion rises significantly for married couples, where over two-thirds have a designated financial manager within the relationship. Anecdotal evidence suggests that in some cases, one partner might take on so much responsibility that the other is left completely out of the loop. For instance, I’ve encountered situations where one partner, often in older couples, makes financial decisions on behalf of the other without involving them, supposedly to “spare them the trouble.” 

The Risks of One Partner Managing All Finances: Death, Divorce, and Dementia 

While having one person manage the finances might seem convenient, it can be more harmful than helpful. Beyond the argument that two heads are better than one, the real concern arises if something unexpected happens—like death, divorce, or dementia. If the partner who hasn’t been involved in the finances suddenly needs to take over, they could find themselves in a dire financial situation on top of dealing with grief or other challenges. 

This isn’t just theoretical. After one of our recent seminars, two women approached us, all between the ages of 50 and 70. Each had recently lost their partner and was struggling to manage the finances, unsure of where to even start. One was particularly distressed because she couldn’t access her late husband’s bank account to pay the mortgage. 

How to Share Financial Responsibilities: The Kitchen Table Approach 

It’s crucial for both partners in a relationship to be aware of and involved in the finances. One effective approach is to create a financial factsheet—a simple, structured list of all financial accounts, investments, insurance policies, and other financial products. Keep this list in a safe place, but be cautious about including too many sensitive details. 

Then, schedule regular “kitchen table briefings” where you both review the list, discuss any updates, and make decisions together. These briefings should be every 3-6 months at a minimum but can be more frequent if you’re dealing with financial difficulties and need to budget carefully. 

We’ve long advocated for financial education in schools and we already provide full service financial coaching and wellbeing to individual clients but it’s equally important within relationships. If you care about your partner, one of the best things you can do is ensure they’re equipped to manage the finances if you ever can’t. This can significantly reduce their stress and financial strain during difficult times. 

Founded in 2017, Fintuity has fast become one of the only digital Independent Financial Advisers (IFA) in the United Kingdom.  Fintuity offers a wide range of financial advisory services including pensions, protection, investments and mortgage advice. The key difference is that as an exclusively digital service, we can offer significant savings and a service that is direct to you and on demand.